Star is Born

It is a great privilege to be a birth doula. It is one of the highest honours I have ever received. It is especially rewarding when I support families who I feel a special connection with. As soon as I met the Faux family, I fell in love. They are the sweetest little family. I helped them with the birth of their 4th girl, Star.

Women are amazing and they really shine during childbirth. I am re-amazed at their strength and endurance with every birth I attend.

Mrs. F. was in labor for quite some time. We shared stories, laughed, and breathed through contractions as we walked the halls of the hospital together. She was handling the pressures very calm-like. Finally in the wee hours of the morning she was fully dilated, but there was one major set back: the baby spontaneously decided to turn in the transitional position. I called my dear midwife helper friend, Heather Shelley to get instructions on how to turn a baby. I had never done that before, but we tried the method and the baby turned....feet first instead of head down. Argh! We tried again but with no avail, Star was presenting breech. The new complication was that Mrs. F. was fully dilated and ready to have the baby, but because of liability insurance policies, the hospital will not deliver a breech baby. Cesarean birth was the only option.

I watched the birth from the window with tears streaming down my face. I wasn't sad as much as exhausted. She had been laboring for hours and reached full dilation on her own and didn't get a chance at a vaginal birth. No matter the method of childbirth, it is a miracle. As I watched Star coming out of the womb something magical happened, time stopped enough for Star to light up the room. I saw and felt her light right away. I've never seen anything like that. It was the most peaceful experience- words cannot explain the enormous greeting and light surrounding Star's arrival. Then more tears fell- of course.

Who knows why baby's turn last minute or why hospital's find breech deliveries too risky or why Mrs. F. labored so hard and so long. But I do know that birth is miracle and that it is bigger than we as a culture and community are allowing it to be.

Essential Oils and Pregnancy

There are many warnings about using essential oils when you are pregnant. I know of one thing for sure: You can muscle test any essential oil (eo). To save yourself time, avoid any eo's that from grocery and health food stores. Go further to the source. I use, and have been very satisfied with Young Living eos. They have a seed to seal guarantee. Which means no GMOs, no pesticides and herbicides, and most importantly no shortcuts in the distillation process. YL has farms all over the world to grow the herbs. If an essential oil they sell was not distilled and grown on one of their farms, YL provides the information so the public knows where they are getting the oils.

Now to the good stuff, What to use for what. All of the recommendations are for Young Living oils.
Nausea: Peppermint, Lemon, or Di-Gize
Heartburn: Peppermint, Di-Gize
Sleeplessness: Peace and Calming, Lavender, or Valor
Stretchmarks: Lavender and/or Gentle Baby
Depression: Frankincense
*All of these oils can be used topically, internally, and diffused. Take your pick :)

Please email me or leave a comment if you have specific questions. There is no reason to feel helpless or uncomfortable if it can be prevented. My email is stacielmt@gmail.com. Also, I would highly recommend the book, Gentle Babies by Debra Raybern. This book has plenty of information to help you- including but not limited to: pregnancy, childbirth, and after care. Debra is a Young Living distributor and all suggested products with the exception of a small handful are Young Living.

Hazel's Birth Story

 I did what I came here to do: Be Becky's doula!!! Hazel is here at last and pretty as ever! Without a doubt this birth challenged me in ways that I cannot fully explain. I am so impressed with Becky, Johnny, Lanna, Hazel and the hospital staff. 

After watching and supporting the documentary The Business of Being Born, I have reservations about hospitals and their agenda. I typically go into a hospital with my walls up and ready to fight if given the signal. My formed belief is that hospitals are a great place to have surgery and be sick, but not an ideal place to welcome a new and precious life. After helping with this birth, I have formed new ideas about hospitals and taken some of my walls down, but not all of them. I still believe that childbirth is a natural process and people should educate themselves before choosing interventions.

On Tuesday night I sat in the hospital waiting room with tears in my eyes because my plane was leaving the next day and Hazel hadn't come. Becky was laboring all of Monday night, on and off throughout the day, and very strongly that night.  I had the feeling she wasn't as dilated as we had hoped. If that were the case, we were prepared to sign a waiver to go home and labor there. As suspected, Becky was only at a three and we were going home to continue to labor. In the car ride home, we established that I wasn't going to get on any planes tomorrow. That relieved a lot of anxiety. 

That night (Tuesday) was extra intense. I felt like Becky was really starting to open. Labor slowed during the day on Wednesday, but not as much as it had on Tuesday. Come nightfall, surges were very strong and uncomfortable. We went to the hospital Wednesday night and were admitted. 

To give a brief background, Becky and Johnny took Hypno-birthing classes and were planning on approaching childbirth with those ideals and practices. Hypno-birthing challenges the idea that childbirth is a painful traumatic experience. It teaches people to release the fear associated with childbirth and allow the body to open easily and comfortably. This method is actually very scientifically and anatomically factual. Fear creates tension in the muscles, thus shortening and tightening the muscles. Breath, visualization, affirmations, and hypnosis are used during childbirth to relax the mind and muscles and create a comfortable birth.

Imagine if you will, Becky, Johnny and I working together to ease Becky thru a surge. At the start of a surge, Becky starts breathing deeply, then Johnny or myself begin repeating affirmations and painting a visual image for Becky. Also, Johnny and I were doing counter-pressure on her hips and massage. What a dream team! These techniques kept Becky laboring on her own for the first 50 hours of labor. 

After we were admitted, there was no rush to get a vaginal examination or pressure from the staff. Instead, they wanted to know Becky and Johnny's birth plans. They were incredibly supportive. In fact, we were left to ourselves most of the time with the exception of intermittent monitoring and vitals. We called the shots, just as it should be. After all, people who have babies at a hospital are hiring the hospital. 

There was steady progression until there wasn't. Becky was stuck at a 7 centimeters for over 10 hours and still contracting regularly. The staff was great to inform us of our options. Each time we opted for no interventions, until we didn't. We decided to give Pitocin a try. Once she was on 'the pit', surges were impossible. Keep in mind that this is the third night for all of us without sleep. There was no improvement on pitocin, so we agreed to an internal monitor that measured the strength of each contraction- that way they could know if we needed to up the dosage of Pitocin. When they concluded that the dosage needed to be increased, we opted for an epidural. 

After this procedure, I had a mini melt down. I was in tears because I was relieved, because I couldn't handle seeing Becky in anymore pain, because I was exhausted, and because I didn't know if we (including baby) were all going to make it out alive.

There were a few complications with the epidural, like it was only numbing the right side and she could still feel surges. Rather than re-doing the whole procedure, we made a few alterations. In what seemed like no time at all, we were ready to push. Pushing lasted for 7 hours. We could not seem to get Hazel out. Choices were slim after 80 hours of labor and no strength left. We chose vaginal delivery with the help of forceps. This is where I had another mini melt down. More mini than the first, because it was all happening so fast. After a few really hard tugs Hazel was ripped out of Becky and placed onto her chest. If you are confused about the length of labor, don't be! You are estimating correctly, Becky was in labor for about 85 hours. 

There were several miracles that took place throughout this experience: We had fun, we had enough energy to continue to support each other, Marianne was updating everyone which led to everyone praying on our behalf, Hazel's heart rate stayed constant, Becky had a vaginal delivery, the staff was supportive and encouraging, baby and mamma are healthy, despite any physical trauma- Becky is open and eager to re-count what happened and does so with joy and satisfaction, we used hypno-birthing techniques and saw results, and we are immensely satisfied with what happened. 

This is what I see in my head: Becky holding up Hazel, Johnny and I holding up Becky, legions of angels holding up Johnny and me. I feel so much love for and empathy for Becky and Johnny. My time here has been invaluable and I wish it were everlasting. Hazel is perfect. She is healthy, precious, and very beautiful. Becky's mom has been here cooking, cleaning, and showering us all with love and support. I am amazed at the outcome and I feel genuinely confident that everything is as it ought to be. I am over-joyed. And like Karen Carpenter says, "We've only just begun."

a ray of sunshine

Wednesday was a beautiful day to have a baby! It may have been overcast and cold, but at 5:30 p.m. a 9 lb 1 ounce ray of sunshine was welcomed into the world.

Wednesday was the full moon and I was sort of anticipating the birth with that in mind. I love/hate the anticipation before a birth. For days or even weeks, I set my phone on volume high and tell myself to not go into a deep sleep because I don't want to miss any calls during the night.

I didn't miss this call. Marianne called me in the middle of the day. She had gone in for a check-up because the night before she was up with contractions. Gratefully, she was dilated to a seven, progressing, and staying to have her baby. I got to the hospital around 3:40.

We were all so happy to be there. The atmosphere was very laid back. Contractions were coming regularly and strong, but not disabling.  Marianne was in and out of the tub. Within a short time, things were intensifying. The contractions were getting very uncomfortable. Marianne moved to the bed because water births aren't allowed at that hospital.  After blood, sweat, tears, laughter, position changes, and 30 minutes of pushing baby Violet was here!

Immediately we all knew Violet's sweet disposition. She is calm and good natured.  She is absolutely  darling with lots of brown hair, big lips, and wrinkle line above her nose. Totally irresistible!!

I remember during transition looking at Marianne. I felt so helpless for her- I knew that no comfort measures could help her at this point. She was in great distress and discomfort. Then all of the sudden time stopped long enough for Marianne to compose herself.  It was as if someone came in the room and wiped the agony away. Her breathe slowed and her face changed. The world started spinning again and the next push Violet was here.

Childbirth is totally amazing. Every birth is different and yet the same feelings of reverence, admiration, and humility flood through me. I envision a gathering of angels present at every birth. They all get the invite and bless the new baby. They've come to celebrate family. I am happy to share in this celebratory  experience. That is one of the many reasons that I am a doula.

A Beautiful Birth

It's almost been a week since I attended a beautiful birth. Unbelievable how fast time flies. I was in attendance as a doula & friend. Esther delivered at Birthing Your Way in Orem. http://birthingyourway.com/ I had never attended a birth outside of a hospital setting before. It was totally incredible! The center was so safe, relaxed, and home-like. I felt very fortunate to share the experience with such a knowledgeable, strong, and diverse team. There were two midwives, one midwife assistant, one student midwife, and me. Not to mention Esther and her mother are both nurses and Keyvan is really informed about natural childbirth.

I find it hard to express with words how miraculous it is to welcome a new baby into the world. Angels are dancing and singing, tears and laughter are flowing, and God is smiling.

Esther labored at home for many hours before going to the birthing center. She labored for another 8-9 hours at the b.c. It was nice to not only have the options but be encouraged to eat, bathe, drink, walk, listen to music, change positions when pushing, and be vocal.

Baby girl cuteness came at 4:21 after an 1 1/2 hours of pushing. She was put on Esther's chest and peacefully gazed up at her mama. When dad said something her head and eyes immediately turned to him. She was alert, calm, and serene. She has a full head of black hair, black eyelashes, gorgeous skin, and the prettiest little face. She wanted to eat almost immediately and she did!

It must have been an hour or more before she was weighed (6 lbs 14 oz) and measured (19in & 3/8s) and assessed. Both mom and baby are happy and healthy.

I know there is a lot of fear and misinformation about birthing outside of a hospital. Is it safe? Can I transfer to a hospital if I needed to? Are midwives informed? Will my baby survive? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. As a doula, a woman, and a witness, I speak honestly that it is safe and normal. If you or baby have health problems maybe the hospital is the best place for you to deliver. Either way consider your options. Talk to people who have birthed outside and inside hospitals, with midwives and with obgyns, naturally and medicated. There is no right or way way to bring your baby into the world. Choose to be informed!!

Working as a doula is amazing. I support everyone and every scenario. Doulas help mamas to make informed decisions. My wish is for every laboring woman to have a doula. Women are really good at supporting, informing, and comforting women. Every doula I know works with budgets. If you have any questions or curiosities get answers! You won't regret being informed, it's empowering!